“I want to keep you safe,
happy and feel your warmth when I catch you. That’s why…
Because I want to kiss your lips,
and remind you that I’m always here for you. That’s why…
it’s because I love you.”
If we are still long enough,
we can see time pass by us.
We can wave and hope that,
it glances over long enough to wave back…
I didn’t fall in love with you,
I walked into love with you,
with my eyes wide open,
choosing to take every step along the way.
I do believe in fate and destiny.
But I also believe, we are only fated,
to do the things that we’d choose anyway.
And I’d choose you,
in a hundred lifetimes,
in a hundred worlds,
in any version of reality…
I’d find you and I’d choose you.
Life is brighter on the other side,
away from all the fears and hurt inside.
You dragged me down but not no more,
you’ve moved on to the person you were before.
All the hate and pain inside,
has disappeared in the morning light.
Today it seems is a brand new day,
when you took all the pain away.
Past is past, you leave it behind.
All that pain and anger inside.
A smile on your face is all it takes,
to make a start to a brand new day.
With your head held high, you storm on.
Away from all the bad times you’ve been going through.
They’re gone now so it’s all okay,
you’re free to be anything you could ever dream.
So take the leap, you might just make it….
As I lie here in the green grass filled with beautiful little buttercups, the sun beaming down from the bright blue sky, headphones on listening to soothing, slow music. Whilst laying there, watching the birds fly by, hearing the children laughing and screaming on the park I realise something…do I really need to be the person other people want me to be? No, I don’t. I will make the choice I want to in life, I want to be the one who wants to fall in love, travel the world, get the job I’ve always dreamed of and become successful. I want all those things, it’s just getting them is the hard part.
There’s been highs and lows in my life, difficult times that have brought me to the lowest I could be, but pulling through has been the best thing I could ever have done. I’ve got my family close by, my friends there when I need them, and a boyfriend that makes me smile every single day.
He’s always there when I need a helping hand, or a shoulder to cry on or someone to make me laugh until my insides hurt. I’m glad he’s by my side with me through the times when I wished I wasn’t on this earth anymore. I hope he is with me for as far into the future as I can imagine, he makes me complete.
As I stand up to go back to the car, grabbing my bag and blanket off the grass, I notice a big black cloud moving slowly across the sky, threatening to cause a storm. I really don’t fancy getting soaked in my new clothes, so I pick up the pace in order to get back quicker. It wasn’t that far away, five minutes or so maybe. It’s getting closer, ok let’s run!
I made it to the car, phew! I do love my car though, a vintage mini cooper in red, just like the one out of the Italian Job! Getting back to the house I had a little thought. Hmm…shower and pj time? I think so! Heading upstairs I walk down the hall reminiscing on the memories on the walls. Pictures of family and nights out with friends, I love walking past them, they put a smile on my face. As I walk further down the hall, I hear a strange noise. “is that my alarm?” I think to myself, and it is! Ringing pretty loudly actually. I run into my bedroom to switch it off, sat on my bed trying to remember which switch it is, and then…
I wake up. What just happened? I thought that was all real, it seemed so real. But that’s the life I only dream of, I don’t live it.