If we are still long enough,
we can see time pass by us.
We can wave and hope that,
it glances over long enough to wave back…
As I lie here in the green grass filled with beautiful little buttercups, the sun beaming down from the bright blue sky, headphones on listening to soothing, slow music. Whilst laying there, watching the birds fly by, hearing the children laughing and screaming on the park I realise something…do I really need to be the person other people want me to be? No, I don’t. I will make the choice I want to in life, I want to be the one who wants to fall in love, travel the world, get the job I’ve always dreamed of and become successful. I want all those things, it’s just getting them is the hard part.
There’s been highs and lows in my life, difficult times that have brought me to the lowest I could be, but pulling through has been the best thing I could ever have done. I’ve got my family close by, my friends there when I need them, and a boyfriend that makes me smile every single day.
He’s always there when I need a helping hand, or a shoulder to cry on or someone to make me laugh until my insides hurt. I’m glad he’s by my side with me through the times when I wished I wasn’t on this earth anymore. I hope he is with me for as far into the future as I can imagine, he makes me complete.
As I stand up to go back to the car, grabbing my bag and blanket off the grass, I notice a big black cloud moving slowly across the sky, threatening to cause a storm. I really don’t fancy getting soaked in my new clothes, so I pick up the pace in order to get back quicker. It wasn’t that far away, five minutes or so maybe. It’s getting closer, ok let’s run!
I made it to the car, phew! I do love my car though, a vintage mini cooper in red, just like the one out of the Italian Job! Getting back to the house I had a little thought. Hmm…shower and pj time? I think so! Heading upstairs I walk down the hall reminiscing on the memories on the walls. Pictures of family and nights out with friends, I love walking past them, they put a smile on my face. As I walk further down the hall, I hear a strange noise. “is that my alarm?” I think to myself, and it is! Ringing pretty loudly actually. I run into my bedroom to switch it off, sat on my bed trying to remember which switch it is, and then…
I wake up. What just happened? I thought that was all real, it seemed so real. But that’s the life I only dream of, I don’t live it.
As the smoke billows from the house, breaking down and crying is the only thing I could possibly think of, apart from the fact I’ve just lost everything. Everything was in that house. My possessions, my work, even my child. She was the best thing that has ever happened to me and now she’s trapped, trapped in a house that youths set on fire. I just don’t know what to do, I’d run back in even that won’t help as I’ll only get pulled back by firemen. I just hope they get my princess out; I couldn’t bare to lose her.
As I watch the firemen rush to the house with their hoses, pumps and helmets, a lump starts to form in my throat…oh god. Please save her, please. They begin to shower the house with water as I stand, helplessly waiting. Two fire-fighters dressed in flame proof clothing; rush into the house and up the stairs as they’re engulfed by flames.
They continue to flood the outside of the house with water as the fire-fighters inside are still trying to reach my baby. The neighbours are all stood staring from their doors watching the situation unfold. Some take pictures; some hold a hand to their mouths in shock.
As the last flame is extinguished and the house is left a smoking wreck. Fire-fighters who proceeded into the house run out with what looks like my little girl. Her blonde hair is tainted with black soot, her clothes singed.
“Is she alive?! Oh please tell me she is! Give her to me, now!” I screamed as I run towards firemen, who are swiftly moving to the ambulance awaiting their arrival. As I get closer I see her face, her sweet peaceful face, I just want to cuddle her and tell her everything’s okay. As I look further down I see her chest moving slowly…she’s breathing!! Ah she’s alive! Words cannot describe how relieved I am! Everything’s okay, she’s going to be okay, I’m going to be…okay.
If you could look into my eyes,
Whilst you stand in-front of me.
Tell me, am I too weak to see?
Broken down, brittle when I speak.
You know not of my pain, my fear, my hate,
It’s easier to protect you from my fate.
You know not of my love,
But I care for you,
You should know my intentions were always true.
You are my love and my light,
My inspiration, that’s by my side.
I never meant to hurt you,
But my intentions were always true.
I want to be me,
I want to be free.
You really should let me be.
I am my own person,
I know what to do.
You should know that we were always through,
I never wanted, to be you.
Walking along a winding road, the darkness closes in. I hear heavy breathing, that whispers simple sins. A glance behind, I spot a shadow lurking far behind. All senses heighten, my breathing as light as a feather. Do I hide? Do I run? Oh how I wish I had a gun. I’m not a violent person, but protection is a must. “Carry on” I say to myself, as panic begins to set in. On I walk pretending there’s nothing wrong, although I do think something is wrong. Why are you here? following my every footstep. What do you want from me? Or are you just a figment of my imagination, torturing my soul?
Closer and closer your steps creep forward, breathing down my neck. Do I turn and face my death? No. I mustn’t. I will run for my life, away from the Satan who craves my blood. A hand appears on my shoulder, pulling me to the floor. Screaming in terror I kick and punch the air. What is happening? Who is this? What do they want from me?…run through my mind.
“You will pay for what you’ve done!” He whispers in my ear, as his hand moves towards my neck. His hold on my throat becomes increasingly stronger, preventing my every breath.
This is it. This is the last thing I’m going to see. A mans bulging eyes bearing down on my body, looking at me with hatred.
As I breathe my last breath, I think of love and loss. I will join you now. Beyond the stars. Wait for me with open arms.